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socks and and other assorted evils of the dryer world [05 Jul 2006|08:51pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

blah. fuck. urgh. I guess you could say I'm having major issues with my dad right now- mostly because I'm trying to assert my independence and he is attempting to keep me as a toddler. well- news flash: I'm not a fucking toddler. I feel like I've missed out on things because hes so dependent on me, but maybe i've just been fucking things up for myself all along. I'm going through a minor identity crisis, but its cool, because whether I'm professional Lisa or hippie Lisa or jock Lisa or indie Lisa or kinky Lisa or [you get the picture] I'm still Lisa- right? right. I feel stupid typing all this crap, but after all, its nice to at least have some documentation of my life so that when people from the future discover our primitive excuse for cyberspace they'll be able to match me up with more than just a couple of dates. Then again, perhaps the internet will just die. I don't know that I would mind. All it does is waste my time anyway. I should be making movies about socks and cleaning and mourning the loss of better than tv, among other things. its wierd how things or people change you- and often you don't even realize it until long after its happened. I honestly enjoy retrospect. And running in the rain. And paychecks. And the cube-y dice things at target that will cost me two paychecks. So I'm listening to the coldplay CD that came out forever ago that my mom got me for my bday [also forever ago] for the first time, and I like it but I dont, which really means I have no opinion. I fricking hate summer school. I fricking hate alot of things. Grr. I'm becoming pessimistic again- which makes me more pessimistic. Aren't cycles that are impossible to get out of wonderful? Wait. they aren't impossible. because nothing is impossible except that something can be impossible. Which vaguely reminds me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which really reminds of a promise to a special person that I would watch that movie before the culmination of a certain trip to Germany. Apparantly the first chunk of my first paycheck will go to blockbuster. oh joy. I'm particularly type-ative tonight [probably because i'm avoiding the evil that is my father.]

"but nobody tells you that forever feels like home"

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fuck establishment [26 Jun 2006|09:59pm]
[ mood | scared ]

two fucking times in less than a week? when pretty much anyone who I could talk to about it is at camp? I'm positive I'm not hallucinating and it freaks me out. So, I'm trying to not think about it while driving down 29 for like, the second time while my dad yells at me because my hands aren't in the right spots, causing me to panic and almost kill myself. funnnn. In the mean time, I'll make a happy mix CD for a super awesome person and draw emo robots.

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what's wrong with a little destruction? [24 Jun 2006|11:57am]
[ mood | weird ]

So yah. I had a wierd feeling in the pit of my stomach all day yesterday. Blah. And then possibly the most wierd/ extreme/ confusing thing that cvould happen to me happened while i was innocently riding in Shannon's car. She tolerated my minor freak out well, and though I will probably always wonder about how I responded, both Shannon and I agreed that what I did was probably for the better. And yah - it probably was. because the past is the past and I need to get over it. and its really frustrating only having like three people who would have any idea what I'm talking about and two of them are away at camp. So yah, minus the whole shock due to the possibly life altering situation that I [wisely] chose to avoid and the wierdness of having the majority of my friends out of town, life is boring.

:::summer school sucks monkey balls!::::

I miss people! :( Shwee- at least I get happy nature camp letters from Lucy like everyday now. yay!

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boobs [13 Jun 2006|11:46pm]
[ mood | everything ]

So I'm actually feeling almost secure, which makeks me really insecure, because every time i feel secure, the lid of the tupperware that is my life gets a little looser and makes a huge mess. I really like boy, and for once nothing is being ruszhed. I wish my dad was slightly cooler, so that I could just like hang out and cuddle and talk and get to know him better. hmmm...maybe before germany [assuming this lasts that long][bad lisa! self doubt = bad] i want a long, meaningful converation. I am being mildly obsesive, and really hoping I don't end up annoying the crap out of people. and then the whole dividing time between friends/ boyfriend is stressful. yup yup. I start work tommorow- oh goody. blah. i hope what i'm worried about is completely unfounded, as shannon thinks, but somehow i have a nagging feeling, because apparently i dont stay in stable (and legal) relationships very long. well, if i'm about to do a faceplant on the keyboard, leaving a line of " b65h65jihu,,j vg n gmny" so goodnight, adieu, etc. *heart*

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take your protien pills and put your helmet on [12 Jun 2006|09:14pm]
[ mood | embarassed yet hopeful ]

so yes, lisa is an akward immature doofus.
him: we're watching arthur
me: wow. thats like the coolest ever- wait is it on now?
him: king arthur the movie?
me: oh- i was totaly thinking the cartoon
-akward silence-
yah. i'm a dork. gah. at least he sounded happy when i called.

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"damn, I look like a ho" [worst senior quote idea ever] [12 Jun 2006|06:21pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Meeeeeep! Lisa = happy! yay! I finaly figured stuff out without making a [complete] ass of myself, and I don't think I rushed anything and I'm really excited because a certain really cute, sweet, awesome, fun (I could go on for a while, but I won't) boy and I are a couple! YAY! Too bad hes leaving for Germany really soon. :( Gah. Oh-well. I'm trying do decide whether callin him to see if he wants to partake in Ghostbusters with Lucy and I tommorow is too obsessive. I don't want to bother him... but its been more than a day since I've talked to him. I dunno. *sigh* yup. parents still = dumbasses. Umnnn... I can't really think of anything else thats new. I sorta stopped posting for a while... oh well, I've been busy. *lovies*

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I tried to find you and failed, but perhaps not all is lost. [07 Jun 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

blahness. I'm actually going to miss school just a wee bit. After all, its almost my final year of what I now call torture but will eventually come to realize isn't so bad. My grades as of now are probably really mixed; I'm guessing I did well on the Spanish exam, and mediocratly on chemistry. emo boys are everywhere. No need to hunt for them. Perhaps I don't even need an emo guy. While they are fabulous eye candy and I will probably carry my emo-boy fantasies into old age,(eeew old people having sex with emo boys- no wonder they cry!)I have to wonder: do I actualy want to date an emo guy? MARRY one? nope. one person with PMS-ish bad moods is enough for my household- at least if I end up being with a guy, that is. If by then I've found the perfect person and they just happen to have boobs- well, I like boobs. So, yah. whatever happens happens. I feel like I'm on a carnival ride, with a bipolar guy at the controls. Every now and again it goes really fast and I don't know whats happening and I start to feel nausious, and really want to get off, but then, just when I think I can't take it anymore ::BAM:: the ride clunks into a slower gear and I start to think "Hey this isn't so bad- and what a view!" Well, padre = annoying. He probably won't let me go to a party that one of the coolest people ever is hosting, but meh. Maybe I shall partake in a movie going experience with Chris and *boy*. Can you say akward? *random noise that I have no idea how to spell* long time no update. Peace.

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Tied up in knots [31 May 2006|11:59am]
Lalala. update for the sake of update.
1 comment|post comment

"you must kiss me more often" [18 May 2006|07:01pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I keep wishing I was perfect. I'm certainly not striving to be perfect, and I am somewhat content to sit on my arse and let the world float by, but every now and then I'll look into a mirror and think "I wish I looked like Gemma Ward" or more recently, "I wish I looked like whatever HotEmoBoy's ideal girl looks like." I don't actually feel an internal push to go kill myself on a treadmill. [Typing that has made me wonder if it is even possible to kill one's self on a treadmill...I'm sure I could figure out how, but I won't because I try not to think about things like that too much anymore.] I'll stare at work that should be done, and not feel motivated, but wish I was. Perhaps I have just become overtaken with extreme laziness. Oh- wells. I'm costuming the Sasha movie, I'm probably helping Live Arts with stuff, and I'm going to get a real job... plus, I'm becoming a thespian. One more year and I can put Charlottesville, and all that it implies, behind me. I suppose there are idiots everywhere. I also suppose that by acknowledging that, I am some what acknowledging that some people, somewhere think that I am in fact an idiot. But I'm ok with that. I'm trying to develop some confidence, and I'm trying not to lead people on, [I totaly failed with that one today]and when I least expect it, the coolest person ever will come popping out from behind a corner and scare the shit out of me. We will then frolic and live happily ever after. Or rather, happily for between three to seven years, according to Ms. Higgings. As of late, I have been commiting more sacreligion than usual, in that I am basicly making people in my life analogous to people from the Bible. For example, I was trying to explain to my dad just how much my mom dislikes my choices: "There are the Lisa gods, and then there is their satan equivalent: my mother." My dad was not pleased with that analogy. He was even less pleased when I told him that by making me visit with 'satan' he was essentialy being Judas. But really, I am not going to get beat up if I go downtown with a video camera. And I am not going to film porn. really. ....well, not any time soon anyway. Overall I can't complain, minus the lack of courage I have to talk to either of my current crushes. Well, goodnight and goodluck, folks!

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the unrelenting problem of normalcy [08 May 2006|07:51pm]
o-m-fucking-g! I am online. Hmm. Everything has happened, but I don't feel like writing about any of it, because I'm lazy to an extreme degree ...sometimes. I definantly developed an unexpected crush on an unexpected person over the weekend. *sigh* I guess I'm never safe from romance.

Ps: I **NEED** a JOLT! [or any other form of caffeine]
[insert argument with self over energy drinks and health issues]
3 comments|post comment

I dressed up like a hooker and people handed me money. <--- [its true!] [28 Apr 2006|11:39pm]
[ mood | people suck bunches ]

coming out of the abyss to say that I am alive.... and that people suck. --
But I did meet like five awesome guys downtown.--
Im realizing alot about myself and how I percieve things. --
--and that is all

2 comments|post comment

glorious eccentricities [20 Apr 2006|01:02pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

its hard to help when people don't let you...

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Bitch much? [16 Apr 2006|10:05am]
[ mood | scared ]

Blah. I missed Easter. Well, not Easter the day, but tho whole churchy part. I was supposed to go to church with my dad + my grandparents, except I thought we were going at 11, when really we were going at 9:45. Oops. Now my dad is really pissed but thats OK because I might have met some uber cool people and if the whole college thing doesn't work out I'm going to join their commune. And I have a great story about how I almost got raped and why Greg should feel bad for laughing at me.
Read more...Collapse )
....Then on Saturday I went to the fair with Greg and Ashley, and we all made plans for 4:20, which surprisingly, as of yet, don't involve drugs. Hmm. Betrayal sucks balls, especially when it is obviously attempting to disguise itself as friendship. oooh! That reminds me- this has got to be one of the awesomest sentences ever: "The promise of an attractive emo boy lured me away from the cultivation of friendships and the pretense of belonging." Yay!
PS- Is anyone going to the Wilco concert?

3 comments|post comment

Razzle Dazzle [09 Apr 2006|07:48pm]
[ mood | ADD ]

I have conformed. Yupness. Lisa got a cell phone. Actually a pretty cool gadget, and quite handy for calling your dad to come get you when it starts poring downtown. Blah. OK week. I bought a dress that I thought I might wear to prom because I really don't have time to make one, but now I find myself thinking its not gonna work for prom, as it is not ridiculously long or poufy. *sigh* I have watched Chicago 11 times this break. I just can't stop watching it and I keep making new connections and I'm getting more and more excited (and nervous) about our version. Well, I've gots to go study for the SATs, those depressing masters of evilness. See yalls tomorrow.

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Flying Waffles [04 Apr 2006|10:08pm]
Blah. My dad is talking to his french girlfriend. Meaning Lisa can't call people to make plans. Or find out about Chicago stuffage. And I have officially been online for way too long. I'm begining to dislike this thing known as spring break.
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Chuck Noris (why is everyone obsessed with him?) [03 Apr 2006|09:52pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So, yah. Spring break. Overprotective parents, but whatever. I love[hate] it when people talk about you when you're right there because they don't realize you're there. Or that you are totaly involved in what they're dissing. Its happened like three times this week, but hey. I just smile because in most cases it would be opening Pandora's box to speak. Its funny how when you think you know what you do or don't want, often the opposite happens, but its really a good thing in the end. *content mixed with sleepiness and angst due to parents* I tried on lots of fun clothes today! Yay for shopping! Wow. The Dresden Dolls are amazing. They totaly know what they're talking about. They are quite possibly brilliancy incarnate. sex. Just thought I'd throw that in there. Don't get [too] drunk on your fantabu-fucking-lastic break of spring, loves.

P.S. to drama-ish peeps!! Does anyone know whats going on with set painting this week?

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I sub-standardized your mom last night... [27 Mar 2006|08:21pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Good day, stressful night. But such is high school. I'm actualy online... "Lisa is online- what?" Teehee, Gertrude was fun. My camera is broken. But all is not lost, rather, its ok. I mean, life is good, but I can't wait till college. *lovies*

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I want the moon on a stick [21 Mar 2006|09:24pm]
[ mood | working ]

Funny t-shirts are the best thing ever. I want the one that says "save quail, shoot a lawyer." Well, off to fail at stoichiometry. Adios!

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1980s Goth Girl

Teehee- I am so goth, lol.


*************bring green clothes!!!!*************
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Why did I ever learn to read? [20 Mar 2006|08:17pm]
[ mood | sad ]

and now my mascara is running. Am I really that disposable?

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Is it bad if I have developed a slight Natzi fetish? [20 Mar 2006|08:07pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Hmmm. Interesting day. Not much happened, really. 'twas fun though. Minus the whole *INSANE AMOUNTS OF STRESS!!* Oh well, its cool. meh. tests, stress from peoples, stupid parents. And, I'm somewhat getting a crush on someone I probably shouldn't have one on. There is no way it would ever work out. And trust me, it isn't who ANY of you think it is. Haven't even decided if I'm gonna share this one with anyone...it would be awkward if he found out. But yah. life = boring. funfun. XOXO

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